My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
