If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
