He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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