Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
