Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
