They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
either way he was missing a nipple.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
My feet surprised me
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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