Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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