And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I fill condoms, not promises.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
