I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
