are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
so explain again why im purple
no
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
why is half of my head shaved?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
