Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
