well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
