If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I will be naked everywhere
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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