I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
