Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
