you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
