WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
