I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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