textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
