take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
