Already got asked if we're dating
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize