I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
