She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
