The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
