you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
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