it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
