Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Randomize
