she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
