she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
It's shark week go big or go home
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
