...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
