Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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