i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
