so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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