Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
