i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
