He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
porn star boner night. come get it.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Randomize
