I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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