Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
