don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
