this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
