Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
