saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake đź‘Ś
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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