i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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