And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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