In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
