it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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