I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
wakey wakey hands off snakey
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize