i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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