Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
