Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
