At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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