I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
love makes seman taste better
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
