Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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