No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
