So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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