did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
